I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
