his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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