i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
as a side note pls kill me
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