Non-Jews are for practice
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
