we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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