sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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