I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
