That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
