I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
