i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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