you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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