Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
