D3 body, D1 cock
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i out mim tonsoeep
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
