Me too!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
