I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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