Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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