Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
