She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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