she was so not down for the gang bang
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
