There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
