You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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