so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
