Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
