At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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