you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
