I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
