They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
