Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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