I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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