hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
