hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize