Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
