No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you would pick up someone in the library
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
