On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
