You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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