You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
