I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
