Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize