I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
not ubering you a puppy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Damn victory sex feels great
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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