member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
