I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
