Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
