I think my fart just growled at me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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