No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize