Me too!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
