people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
