Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
