Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want to have your abortion
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we're making bets on your personal life
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
