Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
