dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
