wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize