About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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