Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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