I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
