no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
