I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
