He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Watching her eat just hurts me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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