I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
