Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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