I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
