You really coming over, don't trick.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
