girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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