hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
