Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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