Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
