It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
