I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
