What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
