pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
