Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
