i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
