So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize