Need sex. Gaining weight.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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