morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
