I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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