god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize