I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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