Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
