p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
