You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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