her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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