she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
